We’re now on the island of Tahiti, which is the biggest (and main) island in French Polynesia. It’s also where the airport is—so, voilà, here we are again.
The apartment we rented this time is... cozy. That’s the polite way of saying it’s very small and has no A/C, so it’s not exactly winning “Best Accommodation of the Trip.” But it’ll do for a few days. On the bright side, there’s a pool and a fantastic view, which definitely helps balance things out. The photo at the top of this post was taken from our apartment—and yes, that’s Moorea in the distance.
On our first day back, we planned a hike to see three waterfalls. Sounds fun, right? Well, when we got there, we found out only one of the three was open. And it was, no joke, a 1-minute walk from the parking lot. So much for “hiking.” Still, it was a nice enough waterfall. Sadly, no swimming allowed—apparently a tourist got clocked in the head by a falling rock last year and now it’s off-limits. Way to go, asshole. Ruined it for the rest of us.
Next, we headed to a black sand beach, and the kids had a blast playing in the waves. Now, those who know me know I’m not exactly a fan of sand. So what gets you dirtier than regular sand? You guessed it—black sand! It’s like nature’s way of doubling down.
The rest of our time here involved a bit more snorkeling. We went to PK18 beach, which has a “snorkeling hike.” Basically, there are underwater signs numbered 1 through 8 that you follow in order, like some sort of aquatic treasure hunt. Each one has little underwater explanations and facts. It was surprisingly cool—and we saw a massive school of yellow fish. The coral was quite nice too, although a lot of it, unfortunately, is dead.
Teddy was looking a bit shaggy, so I booked him a haircut. We went with the apprentice barber because hey, half the price—what could go wrong? Well… the cut was fine. It looked absolutely nothing like the photo I showed him, but at least Teddy still has ears. As for me, I’ve decided I’m holding out for New Zealand before I risk the scissors.
We also stopped by the site of the surf competition for the 2024 Paris Olympics. Yes, you read that right—Paris Olympics. In Tahiti. I guess there are no big waves in Paris. Anyway, the waves were pretty small this time of year, so we skipped the boat tour (the break is about 500–1000m offshore, just outside the lagoon). We’ll use our imagination.
On our last day, we attempted another hike, this time at the Vaipahi Water Gardens. It was supposed to be a 5km loop. Emphasis on “supposed to.” Five minutes in, one of the kids started complaining about sore feet. Classic. So I took a shortcut with the foot-complainer that trimmed the hike down to about 2km. Best decision ever. The trail followed the river back down, and we had a bunch of river crossings and mini adventures. Not a single word about sore feet after that—funny how that works.
Meanwhile, Mylène did the full 5km with the other kid... and they saw nothing. Zero payoff. Just a whole lot of walking and sweating. So, moral of the story: sometimes laziness really is the best policy.
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