We’ve finally made it to Machu Picchu. One of the main reasons we came to South America — but getting here is like solving an escape room designed by a sadistic travel agent.
First, tickets to Machu Picchu sell out quickly, so we had to buy them way back in February. But buying the tickets is not as simple as clicking “Add to Cart” on Amazon. Oh no. You first have to figure out which circuit you want to do. That’s not easy, because the circuits are new this year, so when we booked, every bit of information online was outdated (or flat-out wrong).
Then, once you pick your circuit, you have to pick a sub-circuit. Because of course you do.
Then you pick a time slot. Which means more research: best time for weather? Best time for avoiding crowds? Best time for spotting llamas doing something Instagram-worthy?
In the end, we booked two days, two different circuits, both starting at 6 a.m. Easy to commit to in February. Slightly less fun when August rolls around and your alarm goes off before the sun even considers getting up.
Next hurdle: you must go with a guide. But you can’t book a guide when you buy your tickets. Oh no, that would be too simple. You have to arrange that separately. I don’t even know anyone in Peru! Sure, some people say you can just find a guide when you arrive — but do you really want to risk showing up at Machu Picchu guide-less, and being refused entry?
And then there’s the bus. The closest town to Machu Picchu is Aguas Calientes, about 30 minutes away by bus. So you need bus tickets. Can you buy them online? Maybe. I still don’t know. All I know is they’re sold by a completely different company.
And to get to Aguas Calientes from Cusco? That’s a 4-hour-and-15-minute train ride. Another ticket. Two train companies, multiple fare classes… By the time you’re done booking all this, you feel like you’ve just completed the South American edition of The Amazing Race.
Everything is so goddamn complicated. No wonder people just book a tour.
In the end, though, we pulled it off. We woke the kids up at 4:30 a.m. both days (after a rooster next to our room woke us up twice in the middle of the night) so we could line up for the 5:30 bus and be at Machu Picchu for 6.
Day 1: Circuit 1, the panoramic circuit. You don’t actually go down into the town, but you get an incredible high-up view. The weather was perfect. After finishing the circuit, we went partway up Machu Picchu Mountain for an even better vantage point — but didn’t have the energy (or water) to go all the way up.
Day 2: Circuit 2. We arrived to a thick blanket of fog and couldn’t see shit. At that point, we were extremely glad we’d booked two days. We decided to wait it out, and then, like magic, the fog lifted and the ruins appeared… for about one minute. Then it was back to pea soup.
We kept waiting — every time it looked like it might clear again, it didn’t. The kids’ patience was running on fumes, so we went down into the town itself. Personally, I think the views from above are way more impressive than seeing the ruins up close, but the others enjoyed it.
By the time we finished the circuit, the sky was clear again — but since the circuits are one-way, there was no going back up to the viewpoint.
Aguas Calientes is tiny and basically made up of hotels and restaurants. There’s not much to do except the hot springs (Aguas Calientes = “Hot Waters” for those who aren’t as fluent in Spanish as I am).
After reading reviews — “Water is warm at best.” “Water is brown.” “Crowded.” “Dirty.” “Smells like piss.” — I decided nope. Hard pass. But Mylène and the kids went anyway. They said they enjoyed it… but also took a shower the second they got back. Mylène confirmed that I would have hated it.
The market is another “thing to do,” and it’s huge. Unfortunately, every single stall sells the exact same souvenirs.
After two nights in Aguas Calientes, we were back on the train to Cusco. After waking up before 6 for five days straight, Teddy and I took a well-earned day off to sleep in and chill.
Mylène and Emma? They decided it would be a great idea to wake up at 2:30 a.m. for a tour to Rainbow Mountain — a three-hour drive from Cusco followed by a brutal hike at 5,000+ meters. I’m glad the minimum age is 8 and Teddy can’t go. Sometimes marriage is about knowing when to say, “Have fun, I’ll be napping.”
Teddy and I still had a great day. We went to an amusement park—it cost 1 sol per person (about $0.35), which might be the best deal since Costco free samples. I’m glad Teddy got a tetanus shot recently because this playground looked like 1970’s USSR. He still had a blast though. Then we headed to a museum to see some Inca mummies. Personally, I found them very creepy. Teddy, on the other hand, thought they were fascinating. Maybe he should become a coroner when he’s older!
To end the day on a sweeter note, once Emma and Mylene got back, we all took part in a chocolate-making workshop. Delicious.
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