When we landed in the South Island and it was still raining, I started to panic. In Wellington, we’d survived nights so windy the motorhome rocked like a cruise ship — minus the buffet and cocktails. But at least there were museums and coffee shops to hide in. The South Island, though? It’s all National Parks, hiking, and pretending to enjoy “fresh air.” Pouring rain + kids = mutiny.
Luckily, the weather goddess must’ve taken pity on us, because the sun finally showed up.
🚐 Queen Charlotte Drive: The Scenic Route Nobody Asked For
We decided to take Queen Charlotte Drive to Nelson because it was 100 km shorter than the other option. Rookie mistake. When the GPS said the arrival time was exactly the same, that should’ve been our first clue.
Forty kilometers of roller-coaster roads later, the scenery was jaw-dropping — for those who could look up. Joey’s eyes were glued to the road, white-knuckled the entire time. I was loving the views. The kids? Even medicated, Teddy demanded multiple “fresh air” breaks. No vomit this time though, which we celebrated like a major life achievement.
🏕️ Abel Tasman NP Magic & the Candy Bribery Olympics
We rolled into Motueka and treated ourselves to a night at a Top10 campground after three glamorous nights in parking lots. The kids bounced themselves into exhaustion, and jumped in the pool despite the cool weather.
Next up: Abel Tasman National Park, which — plot twist — has no roads inside. Our plan was a quick out-and-back hike, but the visitor centre suggested taking a water taxi up the coast and walking 12.5 km back. The catch? The boat left in 10 minutes.
Cue the chaos: Joey panicking, me stuffing snacks into bags like a survivalist, and the kids putting on sunscreen with the speed of sloths. I even bought emergency candy — my go-to parenting hack.
Then our “boat” arrived: a tractor towing a speedboat on a trailer. Turns out, it was low tide. So yes, we boarded a boat on land, got pulled down the beach by a tractor, and launched into the sea like a family of confused penguins. Honestly? 10/10 experience.
The hike back was stunning — turquoise water, golden beaches, and endless “Are we there yet?” moments that… never came. The kids crushed it. We clocked 15.7 km, and Teddy only ate six candies. Olympic-level restraint.
🥜 Peanut Butter, Sheep, and the Winery That Locked Us In
The next day was all about Nelson. We started with a hike to Cable Bay Lookout, a short but steep climb featuring sheep, cows, and lots of “watch where you step” moments.
Then came the holy grail: Pic’s Peanut Butter Factory. We learned how it’s made, sampled every flavor (salt & pepper PB? surprisingly good), and left with more jars than we could fit in our pantry.
Before leaving town, I needed to visit a winery. The kids happily played Lego in the motorhome while Joey and I sat in the sun pretending we were classy adults. It was perfect — until the staff politely locked us out because we didn’t notice closing time.
🏔️ Nelson Lakes NP Showdown
That night, we drove to Nelson Lakes National Park. Just as we turned into the campground, Teddy shouted the words every road-tripping parent dreads: “My belly hurts!”
Seconds later — splash zone. Two gallons. In a bag. Welcome to parenthood, South Island edition.
Our plan to do the Mount Robert Circuit died when we realized the “road” — a narrow, unpaved, winding path that looked more like a hiking trail for goats. Not happening with our beast of a motorhome (“The Monster”). Our fear was confirmed by the visitor centre. Joey suggested we leave early. I suggested something better — or worse, depending who you ask — the St Arnaud Range Track: 12 km long, 1,100 m of elevation, and breathtaking views (if we survived). Joey didn’t sleep that night, questioning all his life choices.
We packed snacks, bribery candy, and a can-do attitude. Between trail quizzes, snack breaks, and my motivational “we’re almost there” lies, we made it to the ridge — past the viewpoint. The view was unreal. The realization that we had to walk all the way down again? Also unreal.
But we did it. One vomit, one anxious dad, two heroic kids, and one mom who refuses to take the easy way. After that hike, all I wanted was a cold beer and a camping chair. Instead, we had three more hours of driving — classic us.
🌊 Welcome to the West Coast - Gentle Annie Campground 🍕
Our next stop was Gentle Annie Campground — location: somewhere on the West Coast (still not sure where exactly). We’d heard about it from some Kiwis in French Polynesia who swore by the wood-fired pizza. Joey booked two nights before they even finished the sentence.
The plan was to relax. The reality: homeschool, laundry, cleaning, meal prep, and bread plus pizza making. So relaxing! 😅At least the kids played on the beach all afternoon without fighting. Actual miracle.
🪨 Pancake Rocks & Blowholes
Next stop, Punakaiki — home of the famous Pancake Rocks. We visited twice: first day was sunny and calm, second day the waves were wild. The West Coast doesn’t do “mild.”
🌉 Hokitika Gorge
Continuing down the coast, we stopped at Hokitika Gorge. Normally the water is a striking, unreal shade of blue — the kind that makes you question your camera settings. But thanks to all the recent rain, it was more of a “moody grey.” Still beautiful though, and totally worth the stop.
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